So this morning I was scrolling through my subscription box on YouTube like I do most mornings and I came across Sarah Ashcroft’s new video called ‘No F*ckboys allowed’ (I’ll leave it linked down below), and it really got me thinking. I like to think of myself as someone who is quite good at giving advice and my friends will always come to me for advice, so I thought through sharing issues like this and talking about them on my blog, I can start to help you guys.
Basically in the video, Sarah shared an article (again, I will leave it linked at the bottom of this post) and it really made me think. Now the article is called ‘Date Someone Who Treats You Like Shit’. There are a few points in this article that really reminded me of an ex-boyfriend of mine, especially the line ‘Be with someone who doesn’t care about your needs, your wants, your ambitions, your thoughts’. At this point in time I’ve been with my boyfriend Kieran for a year now and he’s the most supportive person I’ve ever met, he’s so supportive of my blog, my YouTube and he always celebrates my achievements with me, no matter how small they may be. However, I’ve not always had someone as supportive as him and I’ve been in relationships where the things I’ve wanted didn’t matter and the achievements I’d made were downplayed and ignored, which ultimately just makes you start to feel like crap.
Another line in this article that really resignated with me was ‘Go blind to their behaviour. Make excuses for them and justify why you’re the only one who gets them’, now I know I used to make excuses for other people’s behaviour all the time and try to justify why I was being treated in a certain way and how it was my fault and not anyone else’s. This isn’t what a healthy relationship is about, you shouldn’t have to make excuses for anyone and to justify to other people about the way someone else is treating you, if someone genuinely cares about you, they won’t treat you like that full stop.
‘Wonder if you had just been something else, something more, if it would have been enough for them to change and love you back’. The way my relationship broke down was awful for me and I sat and questioned absolutely everything about myself, I made myself feel awful and made myself feel as though I wasn’t good enough. You should never have to change who you are or be made to feel as though the person you are isn’t good enough for someone. At the end of the day, if you’re happy with the person you are, then that’s all that matters and the way other people think about is irrelevant. Have you ever heard the saying you need to love yourself before someone else can love you, I agree with this 100%! But how can you love yourself if the person you love is making you feel as though you’re not good enough?
I’m lucky in the fact that when I was in a relationship like this I was still quite young and I’ve treated this whole experience as a learning curve to me. Loving someone who treats you so bad has made me realise my self-worth and it taught me the things that I want from a relationship and luckily enough I have found that with Kieran.
So to anyone in this situation right now or who is just coming out of a situation like this, don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle as the saying goes. Always believe in yourself and know your worth and that way no one can even have the opportunity to treat you this way. You are worth more, always remember that!
Sarah’s video – here
Date someone who treats you like shit article – here